i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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