We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
