WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
