Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
