Ambien. No doubt about it.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
