Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
