Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
