Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
