oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
