Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
