I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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