Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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