And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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