did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I understand Curling. That high.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We had to coat check the pizza.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
