Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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