You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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