i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
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I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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