Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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