I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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