Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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