We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
