it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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