Barsexuality is the new black.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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