i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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