You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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