I wannas sexs uuuuu
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
