im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
