Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize