if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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