apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
