Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
