I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
