ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
