Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
