..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
