I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
