I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
