Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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