Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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