You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
