Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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