Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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