maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
