The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude. I can hear the air.
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