I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
