I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its not stalking. its research.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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