Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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