We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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