as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
