I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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