she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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