Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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