Sponge bath it is.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
