we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
