She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
