It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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