i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize