do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
