Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
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My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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