Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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