Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
