i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
