I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
this will be a night to untag.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
