I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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