Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
