Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
